Peace, Love, and Protein Shakes: Vanessa's Bariatric Blog

Back at the treatment house after a week of being at a treatment hospital for suicidal thoughts. Upon intake at the treatment house, the interviewer felt it was best for me to go to the emergency room. After a few days, on the 20th, I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital. I spent seven days there.  Yesterday afternoon, I was sent back to the treatment house. I had a good day. I slept fairly well, but I am now dealing with some natural issues with my body. I should be fine in a few days.  My estimated check out date from this house will be on Tuesday if all goes well. I'm thinking it should because I am staying on my medications. I also have a meeting with my case manager on Monday morning. I hardly ever see her, but I'm guessing they worked something out since I had to go to the hospital and everything. I'm happy to report that I am glad I held on to my life and decided to continue on my journey, mentally and physically. The weight loss will come in time. I also need to...

It seems that my brain may also need to go on a diet. I was thinking about this earlier this morning. It’s hard when I look at myself in the mirror sometimes because I still see my obese self, even though my brain and body know that I’m not. I certainly don’t even eat like an obese person either. My “fat” brain thinks I’m ugly and unworthy of affection. My “fat” brain doesn’t want attention. My “fat’ brain just sucks and needs to just go away already. My lighter brain, however, is starting to see some positive physical attributes in me, such as strong calves. My lighter brain wouldn’t mind being noticed sometimes. I need to lose my “fat” brain to make room for my lighter, more optimistic brain. Wow. I didn’t know that my brain needed to go on a diet as well! This recovery process is crazy! I thought that I’d mainly have to deal with physical challenges, but the mental challenges are proving even more difficult. I have more mood swings than I already have had in the past. I...