Peace, Love, and Protein Shakes: Vanessa's Bariatric Blog

Back at the treatment house after a week of being at a treatment hospital for suicidal thoughts. Upon intake at the treatment house, the interviewer felt it was best for me to go to the emergency room. After a few days, on the 20th, I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital. I spent seven days there.  Yesterday afternoon, I was sent back to the treatment house. I had a good day. I slept fairly well, but I am now dealing with some natural issues with my body. I should be fine in a few days.  My estimated check out date from this house will be on Tuesday if all goes well. I'm thinking it should because I am staying on my medications. I also have a meeting with my case manager on Monday morning. I hardly ever see her, but I'm guessing they worked something out since I had to go to the hospital and everything. I'm happy to report that I am glad I held on to my life and decided to continue on my journey, mentally and physically. The weight loss will come in time. I also need to...

     It's been six years since my surgery, and yet I am facing the same issues. I need to get back on track.      I just did five minutes on my exercise bike, the same amount that I do every time I get on the bike. 5 whole, whopping minutes. I should, however, give myself some credit for doing something. Something is always better than nothing. Never stop starting over, right?      However, I am tired of always starting over. I feel like I'm in some infinite loop and I can't seem to get off the hamster wheel, chasing a proverbial carrot going to absolutely nowhere.      Sometimes, I get really good, and I even bring a friend with me to workout. Then I lose track all over again.      I'm even trying to get right with God. My church is having a weight loss challenge, and I'm participating. Now I have to really work hard and achieve weight loss not just for myself, but for others as well. I don't want to...

I thought that I made my last entry for 2018 a few weeks ago, but I decided to reflect on the year. 2018 was surprising and difficult, yet I am still thankful. As this year comes to a close, I want to take time to remember what I am thankful for. I am thankful for my Creator, because They have made me and kept me alive for a purpose, even in trying times. I am thankful for my family, who always stood beside me and loved me through the good and the bad. I am thankful for my friends, who showed me that I am worthy of love, and that I can enjoy being single. You, dear reader, are one of those friends. Thank you so much for your loyalty! I am thankful for my work, because it gives me a sense of purpose and fulfillment. I am thankful for my emotions, both negative and positive, because they make me feel more human, alive, and have greater empathy for others. I am thankful for my body, because even though it is not perfect, it is my own , rolls, curv...