Peace, Love, and Protein Shakes: Vanessa's Bariatric Blog

Back at the treatment house after a week of being at a treatment hospital for suicidal thoughts. Upon intake at the treatment house, the interviewer felt it was best for me to go to the emergency room. After a few days, on the 20th, I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital. I spent seven days there.  Yesterday afternoon, I was sent back to the treatment house. I had a good day. I slept fairly well, but I am now dealing with some natural issues with my body. I should be fine in a few days.  My estimated check out date from this house will be on Tuesday if all goes well. I'm thinking it should because I am staying on my medications. I also have a meeting with my case manager on Monday morning. I hardly ever see her, but I'm guessing they worked something out since I had to go to the hospital and everything. I'm happy to report that I am glad I held on to my life and decided to continue on my journey, mentally and physically. The weight loss will come in time. I also need to

It's been three years since my surgery, and I've gone from about 360 pounds to about 250, which means that the "honeymoon" period in my relationship with weight loss surgery is way over, and I'm basically in maintenance mode. It's not the most ideal place to be, but it's not bad either. It could be so much worse. Issues and complications aside, I'm still here and surviving, and that's all that matters. I would like to eat more solid foods and have more of a variety in my diet, but a revision surgery on my initial gastric bypass operation isn't feasible with my current doctor until I lose at least 50 pounds. I think I can do that by the next year or so, but who knows? I'm not setting any strict deadlines at the moment. It's soul crushing and unrealistic to think that after three years post-op, I can actually lose 20 pounds in a month with minimal effort again. If I want to lose this remaining weight, I have to earn it, pound by pound

It's been two years since I've had surgery, and the one question I still get asked by people when I've told them about having gastric bypass is this: "Should I get it???" My not-so-definitive answer is this: Yes, and only if you're sure. This is because one, I've had it. And I've survived. If you'd met me a few years ago, I would have been the LEAST likely person to have qualified for surgery. I was headstrong and devoted to junk. Whataburger, Chinese takeaway, and Mexican breakfast tacos were a way of life for this near native of Corpus Christi, Texas. I've lived in Corpus since I was three, so I'm not a native Texan, but I got here as fast as I could, haha! So I know what it's like to have the mentality of a native Texan and yet have the stomach of a toddler. It is hellish and frustrating. But.... There are some great benefits. Near reversal of my diabetes! My A1c is a 5 at the moment.  No more sleep apnea mask! I can t

Happy New Year! I know that I haven’t updated in months, and for that, I most humbly apologize. I wish I could say that a lot has changed, but honestly, it hasn’t, and that is something I really want to address this year. In March, it will be two years since I had gastric bypass. It feels surreal. The good news is that I have been able to maintain a majority of the weight that I have lost since surgery. The bad news is that I have yet to make it out of the 200’s. “Onederland” is so close, yet so far away! (“Onederland” is being in the under 200 pound range, by the way). I’m not afraid to say that I am over 200 pounds, though, because before surgery, I was over 300 pounds, even closer to 400 actually. So I’ve improved quite a bit. Yet I know that it is not enough, and that is why I will continue to work on my diet and exercise program. I know what I’ve done, and I know that I can change it if I try harder. I need to drink more protein shakes, even if I get sick of them at t

It's been two months since I've updated, and yet, I just threw up for the umpteenth time. It’s not even funny anymore; it’s just a sad and pathetic complication from surgery. Yet I chose to get gastric bypass surgery, and I must learn to wield this tool alone. However, sometimes I just need a break. A carpenter doesn’t hold their hammer or saw 24 hours a day. Why should I have to hold my sword all the time? But I digress. I think it’s time that I describe where I am as far as my philosophy on “Peace, Love, and Protein Shakes” is concerned. First, I am finding peace within myself, a little bit each day. I am seeking peace, always. Interestingly, I am also experiencing love, not just on a personal level, but on a romantic level as well. Last month, I officially declared my relationship with my best guy friend to be a romantic one. It’s been amazing. I’m glad that we started out as friends because it’s given us a great foundation and springboard for growth. I don’

I have been working out regularly—never thought I’d say that last year! —since June 15 th , 2017. That’s a little over 2 weeks. It has been challenging, but worth it. I love being consistent in the healthy habit of exercise. Yeah, I said that I love exercise. Weird. So, in a way, I’m glad that the blood clot was a wake-up call to get active. What I’m not happy about, however, is that despite my best efforts, I am at a plateau. I haven’t lost any more weight. I know that a year or so after weight loss surgery, the rapid weight loss, or “honeymoon” period ends and weight loss is harder to maintain, but dang, it’s soul crushing. Also, I just read an article from The Cleveland Clinic that says that weight gain after exercise is common due to water shifting in the body and muscle gain, plus the recovery process. Well, duh. I’m sure I’ve read this in some fitness magazine in the past, but I forgot. It doesn’t make things any easier to deal with, but at least I have an explanation.

This month has been going by so fast! Since my last entry, I have been busy working to complete my first online Master’s English class and trying to stay positive even though I am still experiencing complications at a little over a year post gastric bypass. Also, at the beginning of this month, I went into a local hospital for testing, and they found a blood clot in my left leg! I had to go straight from Radiology to the Emergency Room. Yikes! Thank goodness that my Dad was with me and that my mom was brought up by him later when I had to stay overnight. Now I am on blood thinners. Fun. But it could be worse. The blood clot could have gone to my lung and I would have died. Seriously. I am now working to increase my physical activity, even though I’m constantly tired, because it helps reduce the risk of blood clots. Also, I want to lose more weight. I’ve been in maintenance mode for several months now, which I guess is better than weight gain, but being at a stall when I am

Two good things: -           I visited my therapist yesterday. -           Today is my mother’s 64 th birthday! Not a day over 35! I love this woman! Therapy turned out to be very helpful, even though I hadn’t been able to attend since Valentine’s Day for various reasons. My therapist (a Female) and I had a catch-up session. My eating (or lack of, really) was a definite topic for discussion. While my therapist isn’t sure on how to exactly help me with my food aversion and eating issues (it’s not her job, though), she was very sympathetic. I told her that my eating is like one big science experiment gone wrong. I’m basically like a finicky toddler, digestion-wise. I want to have a healthy relationship with food, but persistent nausea and vomiting makes it difficult. My therapist was concerned, though, about acid damaging my esophagus, but I haven’t had any issues so far. Thank goodness! I also asked my therapist about the possibility of having an eating disorder, but she t

I went to my primary care doctor on Wednesday. While he is pleased with my progress, I am not. I have maintained my overall weight loss, yet I am now stalled. I am about 20 pounds away from “Onederland” (as it is known in the weight loss surgery community), or being under 200 pounds. I should be happy, right? Yet I am not, and that bothers me. I am learning day by day that recovery from weight loss surgery and food addictions is a lifelong process, and it doesn’t end several weeks out of the hospital. Change is inevitable, yes, but it also takes time . The problem is that I have never been a patient person. Case in point: I was born two months prematurely. So when it comes to where I’m at in my recovery process, I want to be done already. It’s been a little over a year now. Where’s my happy ending? I guess that was a stupid question. Why should I expect happiness in my life just because I survived a near fatal operation? Other people survive much worse things. At least I

Hey everyone! Yes, it's been ONE YEAR since my gastric bypass weight loss surgery! I can't believe this time has come. It's been a rough ride, but I am continuing this journey, no matter what. I've worked too hard and come too far to turn back now. My brain is just going to have to catch up with my new body. That's what I've been realizing lately. Yes, there are days when I literally have a funeral for the foods that I can't (and don't NEED or WANT to) eat anymore, but then days like this remind me that it's not worth the agony and weight gain. Today, I managed to walk down my block and visit several places: the convenience store, the post office, the neighborhood Goodwill, and the library, and it felt so good. There was even a nice breeze and sunshine going too. I would have never had the stamina to do this a year ago. Time really does make a difference. Anything could happen in a year, a month, a day, an hour, or even a minute or second. So d