Peace, Love, and Protein Shakes: The Philosophy and Me

It's been two months since I've updated, and yet, I just threw up for the umpteenth time. It’s not even funny anymore; it’s just a sad and pathetic complication from surgery. Yet I chose to get gastric bypass surgery, and I must learn to wield this tool alone.

However, sometimes I just need a break. A carpenter doesn’t hold their hammer or saw 24 hours a day. Why should I have to hold my sword all the time? But I digress.

I think it’s time that I describe where I am as far as my philosophy on “Peace, Love, and Protein Shakes” is concerned.

First, I am finding peace within myself, a little bit each day. I am seeking peace, always.

Interestingly, I am also experiencing love, not just on a personal level, but on a romantic level as well. Last month, I officially declared my relationship with my best guy friend to be a romantic one. It’s been amazing. I’m glad that we started out as friends because it’s given us a great foundation and springboard for growth. I don’t think that I would have ever had the courage or the strength to pursue this pre-op. So, this is one of the positive aspects of weight loss surgery.

Then, of course, everything has trade-offs. While there are things that I love about post-op life—weight loss, strength, increased self-esteem and confidence, as well as romance— there are things that I absolutely despise, like nausea, vomiting, weight loss stalls, fatigue, depression, and… protein shakes! They’re a necessary evil at this point. I’m thankful that I have them prescribed to me because I would not be able to afford them consistently otherwise, yet I need more variety in my life. Nearly every time that I try to eat solid food, I am running to the bathroom.

So, my sword, or “Excalibur”, as I like to call it lately, is proving to be quite hefty. It’s very taxing on me physically (duh!), mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even financially. Buying food feels like a waste sometimes, but I don’t live alone, so it is unavoidable.

If a drug addict had to pass by the dope house on the way to work, and it was impossible to take a different route, every day, don’t you think that they would go a little crazy too? That’s how it feels for me whenever I see, hear, think, or remember a food. Every time. Yet I can’t quit eating. At times, I honestly wish that I could. Then I remember all the people who would do almost anything to eat and cannot. So, I must count my blessings and remember the trade-offs.

There you have it: peace, love, protein shakes, and me.

My weight loss tool is not a magic wand. It doesn’t come with a fairy tale or a money-back guarantee. It comes with a price. It comes with complications and side effects. Yet it’s also saving my life. Once again, lovely trade-offs.

Peace, love, and protein shakes!


Vanessa 

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