Peace, Love, and Protein Shakes: Vanessa's Bariatric Blog

I found this questionnaire while looking through old magazines at the treatment house, and I finally had some time between collaging to answer it. Here are my responses. This came from an old issue of Marie Claire . 1. Dream career: Writer or entrepreneur of something 2. Best career advice I've gotten: Don't work for your money; make your money work for you. 3. Most gracious response to career setback: Hugs and time to process 4. Least gracious response to career setback: "When are you going back to work/get a job?" 5. The three qualities that got me where I am today: Compassion, Intellect, and Humor 6. Most agonizing career decision: Deciding whether or not to attend Southwestern University in Georgetown, Texas when I was 18 with no car or much money. Then, leaving shortly a few years later before I could graduate due to bipolar disorder. 7. Easiest career decision: Becoming a home health aide for my late mother, Norine Amanda Rhaburn. 8. Kind of work I'd do for

Back at the treatment house after a week of being at a treatment hospital for suicidal thoughts. Upon intake at the treatment house, the interviewer felt it was best for me to go to the emergency room. After a few days, on the 20th, I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital. I spent seven days there.  Yesterday afternoon, I was sent back to the treatment house. I had a good day. I slept fairly well, but I am now dealing with some natural issues with my body. I should be fine in a few days.  My estimated check out date from this house will be on Tuesday if all goes well. I'm thinking it should because I am staying on my medications. I also have a meeting with my case manager on Monday morning. I hardly ever see her, but I'm guessing they worked something out since I had to go to the hospital and everything. I'm happy to report that I am glad I held on to my life and decided to continue on my journey, mentally and physically. The weight loss will come in time. I also need to

 I'm currently at a residential treatment facility in Corpus Christi, Texas. They have a computer available in the day room with limited access and hours, so I'm making the most of my downtime. I checked in around 4 P.M. Central Standard Time today. I've been through the runaround for the past week trying to find treatment. Finally, after the police took me to the emergency room, I was finally assessed and referred to this place.  I've now had dinner, talked with my Dad on the phone, and showered. I even received a change of clothes from the community closet.  I've been called to fill out some papers.  More later.  Peace always, Vanessa

     It's been six years since my surgery, and yet I am facing the same issues. I need to get back on track.      I just did five minutes on my exercise bike, the same amount that I do every time I get on the bike. 5 whole, whopping minutes. I should, however, give myself some credit for doing something. Something is always better than nothing. Never stop starting over, right?      However, I am tired of always starting over. I feel like I'm in some infinite loop and I can't seem to get off the hamster wheel, chasing a proverbial carrot going to absolutely nowhere.      Sometimes, I get really good, and I even bring a friend with me to workout. Then I lose track all over again.      I'm even trying to get right with God. My church is having a weight loss challenge, and I'm participating. Now I have to really work hard and achieve weight loss not just for myself, but for others as well. I don't want to let anyone down. It's adding more pressure fo

I have been in a weight plateau for several months, and it is really soul crushing and frustrating. My scale and I are not on the best of terms right now. I haven't been consistent with my exercise. I am trying to walk more, but it isn't enough. My exercise bike hasn't been touched in over a month. I really need to shake things up with my diet and exercise routine. I drink at least one protein shake a day. However, I would like more variety in my diet, so I eat solid foods on occasion, especially at social functions. I find myself snacking more than I would like as well. Yet each “variation” in my diet is only increasing my weight gain and furthering my plateau, so I am also working on being more mindful of what I eat. I used to keep food journals to keep myself accountable in the past, though, and found it hard to stick with.  It seems as if I'm stuck in an endless cycle. I want to control my diet and exercise, yet I am also a human being, and therefore, a

It's been three years since my surgery, and I've gone from about 360 pounds to about 250, which means that the "honeymoon" period in my relationship with weight loss surgery is way over, and I'm basically in maintenance mode. It's not the most ideal place to be, but it's not bad either. It could be so much worse. Issues and complications aside, I'm still here and surviving, and that's all that matters. I would like to eat more solid foods and have more of a variety in my diet, but a revision surgery on my initial gastric bypass operation isn't feasible with my current doctor until I lose at least 50 pounds. I think I can do that by the next year or so, but who knows? I'm not setting any strict deadlines at the moment. It's soul crushing and unrealistic to think that after three years post-op, I can actually lose 20 pounds in a month with minimal effort again. If I want to lose this remaining weight, I have to earn it, pound by pound