Peace, Love, and Protein Shakes: Vanessa's Bariatric Blog

It's been two years since I've had surgery, and the one question I still get asked by people when I've told them about having gastric bypass is this: "Should I get it???" My not-so-definitive answer is this: Yes, and only if you're sure. This is because one, I've had it. And I've survived. If you'd met me a few years ago, I would have been the LEAST likely person to have qualified for surgery. I was headstrong and devoted to junk. Whataburger, Chinese takeaway, and Mexican breakfast tacos were a way of life for this near native of Corpus Christi, Texas. I've lived in Corpus since I was three, so I'm not a native Texan, but I got here as fast as I could, haha! So I know what it's like to have the mentality of a native Texan and yet have the stomach of a toddler. It is hellish and frustrating. But.... There are some great benefits. Near reversal of my diabetes! My A1c is a 5 at the moment.  No more sleep apnea mask! I can t...

Happy New Year! I know that I haven’t updated in months, and for that, I most humbly apologize. I wish I could say that a lot has changed, but honestly, it hasn’t, and that is something I really want to address this year. In March, it will be two years since I had gastric bypass. It feels surreal. The good news is that I have been able to maintain a majority of the weight that I have lost since surgery. The bad news is that I have yet to make it out of the 200’s. “Onederland” is so close, yet so far away! (“Onederland” is being in the under 200 pound range, by the way). I’m not afraid to say that I am over 200 pounds, though, because before surgery, I was over 300 pounds, even closer to 400 actually. So I’ve improved quite a bit. Yet I know that it is not enough, and that is why I will continue to work on my diet and exercise program. I know what I’ve done, and I know that I can change it if I try harder. I need to drink more protein shakes, even if I get sick of them at t...

It's been two months since I've updated, and yet, I just threw up for the umpteenth time. It’s not even funny anymore; it’s just a sad and pathetic complication from surgery. Yet I chose to get gastric bypass surgery, and I must learn to wield this tool alone. However, sometimes I just need a break. A carpenter doesn’t hold their hammer or saw 24 hours a day. Why should I have to hold my sword all the time? But I digress. I think it’s time that I describe where I am as far as my philosophy on “Peace, Love, and Protein Shakes” is concerned. First, I am finding peace within myself, a little bit each day. I am seeking peace, always. Interestingly, I am also experiencing love, not just on a personal level, but on a romantic level as well. Last month, I officially declared my relationship with my best guy friend to be a romantic one. It’s been amazing. I’m glad that we started out as friends because it’s given us a great foundation and springboard for growth. I don’...

It seems that my brain may also need to go on a diet. I was thinking about this earlier this morning. It’s hard when I look at myself in the mirror sometimes because I still see my obese self, even though my brain and body know that I’m not. I certainly don’t even eat like an obese person either. My “fat” brain thinks I’m ugly and unworthy of affection. My “fat” brain doesn’t want attention. My “fat’ brain just sucks and needs to just go away already. My lighter brain, however, is starting to see some positive physical attributes in me, such as strong calves. My lighter brain wouldn’t mind being noticed sometimes. I need to lose my “fat” brain to make room for my lighter, more optimistic brain. Wow. I didn’t know that my brain needed to go on a diet as well! This recovery process is crazy! I thought that I’d mainly have to deal with physical challenges, but the mental challenges are proving even more difficult. I have more mood swings than I already have had in the past. I...

I have been working out regularly—never thought I’d say that last year! —since June 15 th , 2017. That’s a little over 2 weeks. It has been challenging, but worth it. I love being consistent in the healthy habit of exercise. Yeah, I said that I love exercise. Weird. So, in a way, I’m glad that the blood clot was a wake-up call to get active. What I’m not happy about, however, is that despite my best efforts, I am at a plateau. I haven’t lost any more weight. I know that a year or so after weight loss surgery, the rapid weight loss, or “honeymoon” period ends and weight loss is harder to maintain, but dang, it’s soul crushing. Also, I just read an article from The Cleveland Clinic that says that weight gain after exercise is common due to water shifting in the body and muscle gain, plus the recovery process. Well, duh. I’m sure I’ve read this in some fitness magazine in the past, but I forgot. It doesn’t make things any easier to deal with, but at least I have an explanation. ...

This month has been going by so fast! Since my last entry, I have been busy working to complete my first online Master’s English class and trying to stay positive even though I am still experiencing complications at a little over a year post gastric bypass. Also, at the beginning of this month, I went into a local hospital for testing, and they found a blood clot in my left leg! I had to go straight from Radiology to the Emergency Room. Yikes! Thank goodness that my Dad was with me and that my mom was brought up by him later when I had to stay overnight. Now I am on blood thinners. Fun. But it could be worse. The blood clot could have gone to my lung and I would have died. Seriously. I am now working to increase my physical activity, even though I’m constantly tired, because it helps reduce the risk of blood clots. Also, I want to lose more weight. I’ve been in maintenance mode for several months now, which I guess is better than weight gain, but being at a stall when I am...

Two good things: -           I visited my therapist yesterday. -           Today is my mother’s 64 th birthday! Not a day over 35! I love this woman! Therapy turned out to be very helpful, even though I hadn’t been able to attend since Valentine’s Day for various reasons. My therapist (a Female) and I had a catch-up session. My eating (or lack of, really) was a definite topic for discussion. While my therapist isn’t sure on how to exactly help me with my food aversion and eating issues (it’s not her job, though), she was very sympathetic. I told her that my eating is like one big science experiment gone wrong. I’m basically like a finicky toddler, digestion-wise. I want to have a healthy relationship with food, but persistent nausea and vomiting makes it difficult. My therapist was concerned, though, about acid damaging my esophagus, but I haven’t had any issues so far. Thank goodness! ...