Peace, Love, and Protein Shakes: Vanessa's Bariatric Blog

Last time I wrote, about over two months ago, I mentioned that I had a stricture. I felt absolutely stuck. I still do. At this point, however, I have some more information, and a path to progress, somewhat. First, I was going through a lot of changes and loss recently. I've been dealing with the mutual ending of my relationship, as well as a temporary layoff and switch in companies at work. I was very anxious and depressed, which made waiting for my appointment with the specialist in May unbearable. That, along with prolonged nausea and vomiting, added to my stress. Yet I held on. Second, I had two endoscopes done with both a gastroenterologist and a surgeon to assess the issues with my stomach. The blockage was confirmed by the gastro and redefined by the surgeon as a "gastro-gastric fistula". It's a connection between my new stomach pouch and my old one that is small, but noticeable enough to be a major problem to say the least. It's like my old stomach is a...

I found this out a few days ago at my checkup on Thursday, April 19th 2018, and I'm still processing it. My primary care doctor, after looking at my most recent Upper GI exam (I've had this done several times since surgery), burst into the room and just started drawing on the exam room table with his pen, wildly marking out things to me. I stood there, frozen and bewildered, and then I started to come to when I heard the words: "You have a stricture." A stricture is basically a blockage in the stomach that prevents food from being digested. For two years , I knew that something was wrong. Yet nothing was showing up in the exams. Until now. (Image caption: On the left of my doctor's drawing is a "typical" stomach. On the right, mine, swollen and distended, but with food being blocked from digesting because I have a stricture. ) However, since I don't have insurance, there's not much I can do about the blockage right now. I need ...

I went to my primary care doctor on Wednesday. While he is pleased with my progress, I am not. I have maintained my overall weight loss, yet I am now stalled. I am about 20 pounds away from “Onederland” (as it is known in the weight loss surgery community), or being under 200 pounds. I should be happy, right? Yet I am not, and that bothers me. I am learning day by day that recovery from weight loss surgery and food addictions is a lifelong process, and it doesn’t end several weeks out of the hospital. Change is inevitable, yes, but it also takes time . The problem is that I have never been a patient person. Case in point: I was born two months prematurely. So when it comes to where I’m at in my recovery process, I want to be done already. It’s been a little over a year now. Where’s my happy ending? I guess that was a stupid question. Why should I expect happiness in my life just because I survived a near fatal operation? Other people survive much worse things. At least I ...

Went to a gastroenterologist (a stomach doctor) yesterday afternoon. He was really nice and thorough, but there was basically nothing  he could do. He explained that the gastric bypass surgery is doing what it is intended to do-- to help me lose weight. Gastric bypass causes food aversion, or lack of desire or appetite to eat, nausea, and vomiting. These symptoms are related to my surgery, and are common. Often, the food goes straight from the new stomach pouch to the new bowel. In short, anything I eat now goes straight through me without any time to settle, or digest. So there are only two options: what goes in must go up, or down. Also, since food has no time to settle, it is not being processed, which, hence, causes weight loss. The surgery was meant to cause malabsorption. Malabsorption is basically when the body does not digest food and its nutrients very well. And often, malabsorption leads to malnutrition, which is why I need the protein shakes since it is difficult for...

So, I went to my primary care doctor today for my monthly check-up. It took THREE HOURS  before I could have a 15 MINUTE  visit with him. Yeah. I love my primary care doctor. He's really nice and knowledgeable and respectful, but he takes FOREVER !!! There's some precious time I will never get back. Thank goodness that I have a more flexible and lenient schedule than most. And I was able to get a nap afterward, so there's that. Basically, I have to just tough things out. I'm seeing a gastroenterologist (stomach doctor) next week, so I'll see what they have to say. After that, then I may have a clearer idea on what to do. Yet temptation is everywhere!!!!! This is what I made Mom for dinner tonight. A big 'ol plate of Mac and Cheese. Fun. This is what I'm attempting to eat tonight. Less than 1/2 cup of Mac and Cheese, with a toddler fork. Yeah. This is what adulting feels like. I can't escape the real world. I can't escape food. Food is ...