Three Years Complete!
It's been three years since my surgery, and I've gone from about 360 pounds to about 250, which means that the "honeymoon" period in my relationship with weight loss surgery is way over, and I'm basically in maintenance mode. It's not the most ideal place to be, but it's not bad either. It could be so much worse.
Issues and complications aside, I'm still here and surviving, and that's all that matters. I would like to eat more solid foods and have more of a variety in my diet, but a revision surgery on my initial gastric bypass operation isn't feasible with my current doctor until I lose at least 50 pounds. I think I can do that by the next year or so, but who knows? I'm not setting any strict deadlines at the moment.
It's soul crushing and unrealistic to think that after three years post-op, I can actually lose 20 pounds in a month with minimal effort again. If I want to lose this remaining weight, I have to earn it, pound by pound. This means that I have to step up my weight loss game hardcore, somehow. My stamina, although it has improved, isn't where I need it to be yet to maximize weight loss, so I need to give myself and my body some time to recover.
I'm becoming more okay with myself each day, though. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm enjoying my journey along the way. I'm getting used to the woman I see in the mirror now, and closer to being at peace with my body and myself as a whole. In my humble opinion, that's much more important than being under a certain number. At the end of the day, I am more than any number on the scale, and I shouldn't have to fit a certain ideal to feel acceptable anymore. I am enough as I am. It's a bit bittersweet that it has taken me 31 years of existence on this Earth to feel okay with myself, but moments like this are what make all the complications of life with weight loss surgery worth it in the long run.
Take care, everyone.
Peace always,
Vanessa
Issues and complications aside, I'm still here and surviving, and that's all that matters. I would like to eat more solid foods and have more of a variety in my diet, but a revision surgery on my initial gastric bypass operation isn't feasible with my current doctor until I lose at least 50 pounds. I think I can do that by the next year or so, but who knows? I'm not setting any strict deadlines at the moment.
It's soul crushing and unrealistic to think that after three years post-op, I can actually lose 20 pounds in a month with minimal effort again. If I want to lose this remaining weight, I have to earn it, pound by pound. This means that I have to step up my weight loss game hardcore, somehow. My stamina, although it has improved, isn't where I need it to be yet to maximize weight loss, so I need to give myself and my body some time to recover.
I'm becoming more okay with myself each day, though. I'm not where I want to be, but I'm enjoying my journey along the way. I'm getting used to the woman I see in the mirror now, and closer to being at peace with my body and myself as a whole. In my humble opinion, that's much more important than being under a certain number. At the end of the day, I am more than any number on the scale, and I shouldn't have to fit a certain ideal to feel acceptable anymore. I am enough as I am. It's a bit bittersweet that it has taken me 31 years of existence on this Earth to feel okay with myself, but moments like this are what make all the complications of life with weight loss surgery worth it in the long run.
Take care, everyone.
Peace always,
Vanessa
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